Dawn
by lawten
Summary: The night before a match, Kageyama ponders on being in his old team, becoming part of Karasuno, and everything that changed in between.


**A/N:** Hi! This is my first fic and I wanted to write Kageyama on his old team and Karasuno. He's one of my (many) favorite characters and I just find his character and past really interesting. Please leave a review when you can! Thanks :)

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Kageyama didn't want to think about it, not now when they have a big game tomorrow and it was late and he needed some sleep. He didn't want to be in a space where there was fear and doubt, especially not when he needed to concentrate fully on the match tomorrow. Still, he didn't feel sleepy at all, even if his whole body was tired from training all day. His brain just wouldn't stop thinking, and it was getting annoying. Adjusting his blanket, he sighed and turned to his other side to look at the clock beside his bed.

12: 49 am

It wasn't always like this, he recalled, not even during his junior high days when his relationship with his team wasn't particularly smooth. He always strived to win by himself and thought it to be the only outcome acceptable. He had no trouble going to sleep then because he never cared about his teammates or opponents, believing that he could win anything regardless. That had always been the case until now, because Karasuno was going to face Seijoh tomorrow, and he was going to have to face his old teammates that would remind him just how much he was isolated back then.

It was almost funny, if it wasn't so cruel, how his so-called genius abilities seemed to be the root of it all. Everyone saw the potential he had, the raw talent, and he had taken that and made himself stronger. He used to think of the thrill, the acclaim, the friends and rivals he'd make in the sport he loved the most. Volleyball was something he picked up when he was little just to have fun and have something to spend his energy on, but the better he became at the sport, the harder it was to fully enjoy. His teammates had struggled to keep up, and it was so frustrating to waste the remarkable skills that he worked hard on just because no one could work with them. Still, he tried pushing everyone to be better, and they only ended up hating him. It was painful, really, to be blessed with much talent at the thing you loved doing, and being shunned out because of it. He had only wanted to be stronger, to be better, and he worked hard to achieve it. And he remembers frequently asking Oikawa-san for help in practice, being refused every time, as his senpai had acknowledged Kageyama to be a threat even when they were on the same team. It hadn't been easy to learn from just watching, but he tried and managed, persevering as he could. And still, towards the end, it had scarred him, when he tossed the ball and had no one to accept it. It had been his last match in junior high, and he was benched and was refused to take part in the game.

' _The King of the Court_ ', they hailed him, and it was like a stab in the back every time he heard it. He was thankful, at least, that his teammates in Karasuno took care not to mention it, except that dumbass Hinata and that asshole Tsukishima. But Hinata had never meant it as an insult whenever he did, and Kageyama had never really thought the nickname to be cool until Hinata pointed it out. It wasn't surprising, because although Hinata was a dumb dumbass, he had such a bright personality that he saw the good first in anything he encounters. Still, he hated the nickname with a passion, and he was grateful atleast that the upperclassmen evaded it, not because they were dismissing him, but because they understood that it was a sensitive topic for him. That was another thing, perhaps, that his mind kept thinking about: how different everything feels with his team now. He hadn't really experienced the kind of dynamic where everyone brought each other up; he had only known that strengthening each player on the team individually will make a strong team. But Karasuno had been different, and it was evident in their first week when their senpais had helped them practice even when he and Hinata, admittedly, had not been completely cooperative with each other. It had been a surprise when he saw Suga-san teaching Hinata in receiving during their lunch break. He wasn't shocked when his senpai had claimed that he wouldn't lose to Kageyama, seeing him as a kind of rival like most strong players had, but he hadn't expected his senpai to give him guidance and advice and challenge him to become better in spite of all that. It was strangely refreshing, because he thought maybe things would be different here, and maybe he didn't need to worry too much about getting along with his team anymore.

There was Hinata too, that dumbass who thinks he can take on anything, who got really annoying at times when he was too pumped. But even with their constant bickering and pushing each other's buttons, he never felt the same hostility as he did from his teammates in junior high. And even though Hinata did have a loud mouth, he could keep up with Kageyama in the language of volleyball that they understood very well, and they both knew each other's strengths and weaknesses. They encourage each other, though subconsciously, and it wasn't as difficult to work with him as Kageyama had thought. It hadn't been an easy idea, but he actually considers Hinata to be a friend, as far as the definition of friend goes for him, because he realized after a while that the reason why he and Hinata annoyed each other was the fact that they were similar in many ways. They were both eager to win, to be the best, and they both had the skills and talent to make it happen. If they were too alike, Kageyama thought they might have repelled each other entirely, but Hinata was like the sun and although he always claimed that he would beat anyone, he was as friendly as no one Kageyama had known. That shrimp can make friends in seconds, and maybe it was because he was like a tiny enthusiastic child, but he had a way of emanating positive energy that seems to get to the people around him. Kageyama can intimidate him, scare him, annoy him, but he could never push him away. Hinata believed in him, looked to him, trusted him completely even when things were difficult. And in a way, he found it rather assuring.

He realized again that things were different now, and tomorrow isn't going to be like his final match in junior high. For the longest time, he had felt isolated and pressured to hold together with the team, but now he knew that he trusted his teammates and their abilities. He would face his old teammates with Karasuno beside him, and he will play without hesitation, to his fullest. He knew his team was strong, not only because each one of them was strong, but because they make each other stronger. And it wasn't just his team that had changed, because he knew in himself that he was now different from the one that people called 'King', and it feels greatly liberating and hopeful to believe that he had gone past it all.

It felt like the wind had passed and took with it all the strain and fear, because he finally felt sleep coming to take him over. It was the calmness he felt that did it, and he had a feeling that this would be the last time he'd have this problem. Because he believed it, knew it, that with Karasuno beside him, he had nothing to worry about.


End file.
